We’ve all said it at some point—
“I wish I knew this back when…”
If you’re at the beginning of your business journey, or even years into it but still feeling the growing pains, then this is for you. I started my first business at 19. I thought I knew everything. I was ambitious, driven, and ready to take on the world. But hindsight? It’s a loud teacher.
These are five of the biggest lessons I wish I could go back and teach my 19-year-old self. The things no one really told me until I learned them the hard way.
1. Do the Research, Even If You Think You Know
When I started, I thought I knew everything. The problem wasn’t confidence, it was assuming that confidence meant competence. I made decisions I didn’t validate, skipped research because I felt “sure,” and didn’t double-check strategies because they felt right.
But we live in a world where information is literally in your hands. Between ChatGPT, Google, industry experts, free guides, and YouTube tutorials, there is no reason not to take that extra step. Someone out there is making millions teaching the exact thing you’re winging right now.
Doing the research doesn’t make you less capable, it makes you dangerously prepared. I could’ve saved so much time, money, and stress if I had stopped assuming and started investigating.
2. Hire Equally for Skill and Personality
(This one’s not in the original clips but it was in your closing recap, so let’s give it its due.)
Your team can make or break your business. I used to hire based solely on skills, but learned, fast, that technical know-how doesn’t always translate into team synergy, accountability, or aligned values.
Skill can be trained. Work ethic, attitude, and alignment? Those are much harder to instill. Now, I hire people I trust to stand beside me, not just get the job done.
3. Trust is Earned, Not Assumed
When I bought the studio, I inherited a team I had grown up with. I assumed we were on the same page. I overshared. I over-trusted. I blurred boundaries. And it cost me.
Your team is not your family. Your clients are not always your friends. Trust feels good to give, but it’s meant to be built, not blindly handed over. That doesn’t mean be cold or closed off, but it does mean be discerning. Let people show you who they are before you hand over your heart, your passwords, or your peace.
4. Invest in a Mentor, But Don’t Just Pay… Participate
I invested in my first professional development program a year into business. I paid the fee, showed up to calls, took notes… but I didn’t do the work. I said things like “that wouldn’t work in my business” and let excuses steal my progress.
The truth? Mentorship only works if you do.
If someone has proven success, either in their own business or in helping others, and they’re handing you the shortcut, take it. Don’t let your pride talk you out of your own breakthrough.
And here’s a tip I live by now: if a mentor costs $20,000, what they teach you should be worth $200,000 in return : whether that’s in revenue, time, freedom, or sanity. Pay attention to the ROI of their wisdom, not just the invoice.
5. Your Business Will Not Love You Back
This one hurts, but it might be the most important.
You can pour your heart into your business. Give it your weekends. Miss family dinners. Skip workouts. Say “later” to every personal milestone. And for a while, it might feel worth it.
Until one day… it’s not.
Your business is a tool. It’s not your identity. It’s not your marriage. It’s not your children. It can bring freedom, joy, and meaning, but it will never tuck you in at night, hold your hand when you’re grieving, or celebrate your 20th wedding anniversary.
I let my health slide. I let relationships strain. I overidentified with the “success” of the business because it validated me.
But the business didn’t love me back.
Now I know: You can have both. A thriving business and a beautiful life. But only if you choose both and build with intention.
Final Thoughts: You Can Have Both
So here’s what I’d scream to my younger self—and whisper to anyone who needs to hear it today:
- You don’t have to burn out to build something big.
- You don’t have to choose between passion and peace.
- You don’t have to do it all alone—or all at once.
Just start with these five:
- Do the research.
- Hire for skill and soul.
- Let people earn your trust.
- Invest in mentorship that shortens your timeline.
- Don’t expect your business to love you, love yourself enough to set boundaries.
The dream is possible. And it’s even better when you don’t lose yourself building it.
Need help building a business that doesn’t cost you your life to run?
Take the Business Systems Audit Quiz and find out exactly where to focus next. Because your business should support your life, not consume it.
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Let’s build smarter, not harder.
