I remember the exact moment he looked me in the eyes and said, “I don’t love you anymore.”
It’s taken me five years to say that out loud. And today is the first time I’ve ever shared it publicly.
What followed was one of the hardest, most humbling seasons of my life. But it was also the beginning of something bigger than I could’ve imagined—because out of that heartbreak, I learned the most important lesson of my business journey:
No amount of success is worth losing the people you’re building it for.
The Breaking Point
It was the middle of COVID. If you owned a small business during that time, you know the chaos. I was trying to pivot an entire dance studio virtually – duct taping together webcams, Zoom licenses, and YouTube tutorials just to keep our doors open (even if they were only digital ones). I was exhausted, panicked, and drowning in uncertainty.
And so was he.
My husband is a police officer. While I was trying to keep my business alive, he was navigating the most difficult season of his profession, riots, public criticism, safety concerns, and unimaginable stress.
We were both breaking in different ways.
I thought we were just under pressure. I thought our arguments were about exhaustion. But when he told me he didn’t love me anymore, I realized I had missed something much deeper. I had made him feel like he always came second. Like he would never be more important than a business emergency or a studio phone call.
And I had done that for years.
The Wake-Up Call
When I asked for a chance to fix it, he said he’d give me one month. Just one.
He didn’t say it out of hope. He said it out of respect. He was already gone emotionally. And for the first time, I wasn’t sure if love alone would be enough to bring him back.
But I also knew this: if I didn’t make massive changes, I would lose my marriage—and maybe myself along with it.
So I did something that felt radical at the time.
I stopped working. Cold turkey.
I stepped out of the studio entirely. In the middle of a pandemic. With no guarantee the business would survive it.
The Systems That Saved My Marriage
What gave me that option? Systems.
Now, to be clear: I hadn’t built perfect systems. But I had built just enough—enough that the studio could run (barely) without me for a while. Enough that my team could survive without constant check-ins. Enough that I could finally focus on saving my family.
I started showing up. At dinner. At movie nights. On the couch.
I left my phone in another room. I stopped replying to emails during family time. I made time for conversations instead of just “checking the box” of being in the same room.
And it was hard. Really, really hard. Because I realized just how addicted I was to being needed in my business. How uncomfortable I was just being present at home.
But my husband and my son had been telling me for years what they needed. I just hadn’t listened until it was almost too late.
From Crisis to Clarity
Over time, things changed. We rebuilt…….. slowly, imperfectly, and together.
That one-month trial turned into two, then three, then more. Eventually, we made it through. And now, I can say with full confidence: we are stronger than we’ve ever been. Because we chose to do the work. We created systems—not just in our business, but in our marriage.
We schedule date nights like we would a client meeting.
We set digital boundaries around our time.
We build in check-ins, touch points, and space to be real with each other.
And most importantly, we now build our life first and our business around it.
The Business You Built Shouldn’t Cost You the Life You Wanted
Too many small business owners only start creating systems when they’re already in crisis. When they’re on the verge of losing everything. When the emergency hits—and suddenly they need a way out.
That was me.
But you don’t have to wait for it to fall apart to fix it.
You can start now.
Start by reclaiming your time. Start by identifying what you actually need to be doing and what you don’t. Start by building systems that give you breathing room. That protect your relationships. That protect you.
If You’re In It Right Now…
If you’re where I was, burnt out, disconnected, and watching your business slowly pull you away from the people you love, please hear me:
You are not alone. There is a way forward.
It starts by getting honest about what’s broken. And then making the systems a priority. Not so you can work more, but so you can finally live more.
If you’re ready to take that step, start here: [Take the Systems Audit Quiz] — it’ll show you exactly where your business is too dependent on you and what to fix first.
Because building a business that doesn’t require you to break yourself in the process?
That’s the kind of success that’s actually worth it.
So I am the first to reintroduce myself to you as a recovering workaholic.
Hi, I’m Lyndzi
Wife. Mom. Business Owner. Forever believer in second chances, and the systems that make them possible.
👉 Take the Business Systems Audit Quiz and find out exactly where to focus next. Because your business should support your life, not consume it.
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Let’s build something worth coming home to.
